A few quick jokes until I get my blog into gear.

July 2, 2017

How long do a reindeer's legs have to be?   Long enough so they can touch the ground!

 

What's green, covered in tinsel and goes 'ribbet ribbet'?  A Mistle-toad!

 

What do you call a three legged donkey?  A wonky donkey!

 

Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said "I don't know about you but I can smell carrots."!

 

What do you call a cat in the desert? Sandy Claws!

 

Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?  A: Because he couldn't concentrate.

 

Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party? A: He's a fun guy to be with.

 

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink namedafter you", to which the grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Bob?"

 

A white horse walks into a bar and the barman say "hey, we have a whiskynamed after you!" and the horse says "what, Eric?"

 

What do you call a man with a car on his head?  A: Jack!

 

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?  A:

Doug!

 

Two polar bears are eating a clown. One bear turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

The Three stages of life for males- You believe in Santa Claus- You don't believe in Santa Claus- You begin to look like Santa Claus.

 

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

 

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

 

I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

 

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

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Blue Mountains, New South Wales, Australia

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